


We Come Right Round

by the_queenmaker



Category: Dong Bang Shin Ki, K-pop
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon, Angst, Clocks, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-02-06
Updated: 2012-02-06
Packaged: 2017-10-30 16:39:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,003
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/333817
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_queenmaker/pseuds/the_queenmaker
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“If a clock could count down to the moment you meet your soul mate, would you want to know?”</p>
            </blockquote>





	We Come Right Round

The clock appears approximately three months after a baby is born, but the numbers don't form until the child reaches primary school age. It is only considered abnormal if they haven't formed by the onset of puberty, and there exist numerous institutions preying off the fear of concerned parents, but realistically speaking, there is nothing much to do except wait and hope.  
  
The numbers could have absolutely no meaning at all. Just because your timer says five years, doesn't mean you couldn't drop dead the next day. Just because your clock ticks to zero, doesn't mean the other person's timer would run out at the same time. Some people's numbers never formed and they remained forever at _00Y-000D-00:00_.  
  
There were scores of tragic literature dedicated to those whose clock wound down and never found their soul mate, to those whose soul mates didn't return their feelings, and to those who died with time still left on their clocks.  
  
Still, with all the things that could go wrong, there were enough real success stories to keep the hope and dream of finding your other half alive.

//

  
  
Jaejoong is considered a bit of a late bloomer. His numbers don't appear until he's almost ten years old, and its arrival is greeted with sighs of relief from his parents and sisters.  
  
"Only six years on your clock," his mother clucks her tongue. "Not a lot of time, perhaps, but at least you’ll know when you’re still young, my Joongie."  
  
"So lucky," his oldest sister agrees. Her clock won't run down until she's twenty-five.  
  
Jaejoong is too young at the time to grasp the full meaning behind their words, but that night they eat celebratory rice cakes and his parents present him with a fashionably dark armband to replace the cheap, vinyl one he currently wore that had eight previous owners.  
  
It is considered rude to leave your counter exposed for the world to see. Some of the more brazen cultures had taken to leaving their arms bare, but the more conservative cultures shied away from such openness, and South Korea is firmly one of the latter.

//

  
  
When he is fifteen, he moves to Seoul to fulfill a dream.  
  
His parents do not understand, but they do not openly object, and he is forever grateful for this. Only his mother sees him off at the train station, and in the middle of her lecture about eating properly, dressing warmly, and sleeping early at night, she suddenly says his name in the serious manner that snaps him to attention.  
  
"Jaejoong-ah," she says. "I want you to be careful with the people you're around, the friends you make. You only have a year left on your clock and Seoul is a big city. Do you understand?"  
  
"I'll be careful, umma," he promises. "I'll make you proud."  
  
She sees him off, and doesn’t let the tears fall until his train has left the station.

//

  
  
Here’s the thing about clocks: they aren’t exact. They don’t tick down linearly like a digital countdown. The numbers fade and are replaced in response to things that were happening around you. Your first number is only an estimate of the maximum time on your clock.  
  
The boy with the floppy hair, breathless from his stage debut, turns to him and smiles. His teeth are crooked.  
  
And Jaejoong can feel his numbers  
  
fade  
  
to  
  
zero.

//

  
  
Numbers are guarded with reverence—one comparison Jaejoong found exceedingly humorous before was equating numbers to your genitals: the only people who needed to see them were your parents, your doctor, and whoever you were intimate with. Close friends were known to share their numbers too, but even then that crosses some sort of line and could not be considered the norm.  
  
It breaks all kinds of rules if Jaejoong asked a complete stranger for his number. So he resorts to watching carefully for some kind of reaction, any reaction at all. The boy is laughing, dancing, shining. His excitement comes from being on stage, not for any other reason.  
  
Jaejoong’s heart sinks.  
  
Later, he goes to the bathroom later and unhooks his armband.  
  
 _00Y-000D-00:00_  
  
There are no words to describe how he felt at the precise moment his numbers faded to zero. Only that he knew and he was helpless to do anything about it.  
  
But it’s not so bad, he tells himself as he tries his best not to succumb to a panic attack. For all the sappy romances about two strangers whose clocks fade to zero at the same time, there were entire other genres of literature of two people who found love despite running out of time.  
  
 _Those books are published under fantasy,_ he remembers faintly, and doesn’t leave the stall until the commotion outside has died away.  
  
Jaejoong doesn’t realize how ignoring the problem doesn’t make it go away until two days later, when he calls his mom and tells her quietly that his timer ran out and nothing else, and she says “Oh, _Jaejoong_ ” like her heart is breaking, and he cracks like cheap linoleum and cries and cries.

//

  
  
Later, he finds out that the other boy’s name is Jung Yunho.  
  
Jung Yunho refers to him respectfully and asks to stay at his place. Jung Yunho mooches his food and saves every penny and smiles wide and natural despite his imperfect teeth.  
  
Jaejoong tries to forget. He dates frequently, but the girls do not stay for long after realizing he has no more time on his clock.  
  
“I’m sorry, oppa,” the last one tells him apologetically. “I still have five years and…I can’t give up hope so soon.”  
  
“I understand,” he would reply, even as his smile grew increasingly hollow over time. “I wish you well.”  
  
Sometimes, before they leave, they’ll ask him what it’s like to have your clock run out, eyes wide with morbid curiosity.  
  
Jaejoong lies.

//

  
  
Dong Bang Shin Ki forms and suddenly his name is Youngwoong Jaejoong. The only person he knows is Yunho, much to his conflicting feelings joy and despair. They are the oldest and immediately, they’re paired up to assume the brunt of the responsibility of the group.  
  
“Keep all the member’s numbers hidden at all cost,” they say, handing out new arm bands for all of them—more secure than the ones on the market for ordinary people, but taut and constricting like a noose. “And make sure no one else reveals their numbers. Deflect, distract, do whatever you have to.”  
  
They look at Jaejoong and Yunho meaningfully as they say that last bit.  
  
If there is anything Jaejoong is proud of, it’s that he never lies to himself.  
  
When Yunho drops the respectful ‘hyung’ and starts calling him ‘Jaejoongie’, Jaejoong reminds himself it’s for the group. When Yunho wraps his arms around his middle and draws screams from hysterical fans, Jaejoong reminds himself it’s for the group. When Yunho rubs his head, away from the prying eyes of cameras and managers, Jaejoong’s breath catches, but he reminds himself once again.

//

  
  
Jaejoong slots into the caretaker role effortlessly. He cooks, he cleans, and he watches out for all of his juniors—especially stubborn Yunho Leader-sshi, who acts like a child but resents being treated like one.  
  
Yoochun and Junsu talk about their clocks in front of him, always fantasizing about the circumstances leading up to _that_ moment. Changmin sidles up to him one night as he’s smoking on the balcony, and asks him what it’s like when the timer runs out.  
  
(Changmin has always been the smarter one of the three. Or five.)  
  
He asks to see Yunho’s clock one day, out of sheer spontaneity. Yunho’s jaw goes slack and he gives a stuttering response that sounds like ‘no, never’. But Yunho does admit that he still has time left on his.  
  
Three years later, and Jaejoong’s heart still clenches.  
  
“What about you?” Yunho asks, as though he were desperate to change the subject. He looks taken aback as Jaejoong rolls up his sleeves and unwraps the band from his left arm.  
  
 _00Y-000D-00:00_  
  
Yunho looks stricken. "I'm so sorry," he says, and he sounds heartbreakingly sincere. He gets up and wraps his arms around Jaejoong’s torso in an honest embrace. Jaejoong means to reply with something comforting, to brush it off, but suddenly he can’t because his throat is closed up and he feels like crying.  
  
 _Don’t be sorry_ , he means to say. _It’s not your fault._  
  
 _It was you_ , he wants to say instead. _You’re the one my clock stopped for. You are._  
  
He doesn’t ask to see Yunho’s clock anymore after that.

//

  
  
It’s his own fault that he wasn’t prepared for the interview. In the end, Jaejoong can only be glad that it happened over the radio, and not in front of cameras for people to pick apart.  
  
“There’s a _very_ popular rumor circulating the internet right now,” the host says deviously, winking at them like he was in on the secret with them. “They’re saying that Yunho and Jaejoong’s clock ran out together. Is this true?”  
  
Jaejoong flinches and immediately tries to recover, which results in a strange expression with his smile being frozen and his eyes wide like he’d been caught red-handed. Yunho recovers first, reaching under the table and clasping their hands together, much to the delight of the host.  
  
For the band, Jaejoong remembers wildly.  
  
Junsu blurts out something horrifyingly inappropriate and ends up whining about how YooSu should be just as popular, which successfully derails the entire interview and has the end result of him and Yoochun referring to each other as ‘honey’ for the rest of the show.  
  
Later, it’s Changmin who keeps his arm around the lower of Jaejoong’s back, solid and reassuring, and he doesn’t let go until they’re safe at home.  
  
That night, it’s Yoochun who crawls into bed with him and holds him tight as Jaejoong cries silent tears into the front of his nightshirt.  
  
“It’s Yunho, isn’t it?” Yoochun asks softly. “Your clock did, but his didn’t.”  
  
Jaejoong shakes his head and Yoochun doesn’t say anything else, just croons softly in his low timbre until Jaejoong succumbs to sleep.

//

  
  
The hardest part of this whole situation is that Jung Yunho is perfect for him. He can see it every day, in every small action, why his clock chose to run out on this person. From his stinginess, to his sudden bouts of childish anger, to his occasional displays of maturity, Jaejoong unwillingly falls a little bit more in love with him with every passing moment.  
  
Sometimes, he even thinks that he would be right for Yunho. Whenever Yunho describes his ideal type, Jaejoong wants to raise his hand and say ‘That’s me! I can be like that and I don’t even have to pretend!’  
  
But Yunho still has time on his clock.  
  
So even if Yunho was perfect for him, the path didn’t run both ways.

//

  
  
Their schedule sends them to Thailand and Yunho, who’s looked antsy for the past week, looks like he’s about to leap out of his seat.  
  
“What’s wrong with you?” Jaejoong asks, settling into the window seat. The view is awful—all wing—so he shuts the blind. “You can’t still be afraid of flying after all this time.”  
  
“I’m not,” Yunho scowls. “There’s nothing wrong with me.”  
  
“Then—“ Jaejoong reaches out a hand to still Yunho’s bouncing knee.  
  
Yunho flushes and then he leans in and whispers into Jaejoong’s ear. “My clock is going to run out on this plane ride,” he says, sounding mortified at his own confession. “I’m just—I’m really worried, y’know? I know my parents will have to accept it but I always thought I’d at least bring home a Korean person.”  
  
Apparently, long healed wounds could still cause pain, Jaejoong notes. Thankfully, his face remains carefully blank.  
  
“Stop worrying, Yunho-yah,” he says, mustering a smile even as his heart drops somewhere below the pit of his stomach. “This has been set from birth, remember? Maybe there’s a reason why your soul mate is on this plane and not anywhere else.”  
  
“R-right,” Yunho says. The sudden reemergence of his confidence doesn’t make the smile on his face any less fake, but Jaejoong appreciates the effort. “You’re right, I’m being stupid.”  
  
“Yes, you are,” Jaejoong nods, unforgiving. “Now shut up and let me sleep.”  
  
Yunho says something back, but Jaejoong’s music is playing again and his eyes are closed. If Yunho is going to meet his soul mate on this plane, Jaejoong is determined to be dead to the world when it happens.  
  
Just don’t let me cry, he prays before he drifts off. God, I don’t want to cry anymore.

//

  
  
The cabin is dark when he wakes up, groggy and fuzzy in the head—a death nap, as Yoochun calls it. Jaejoong considers going straight back to sleep, but then he realizes that half of his face in buried in Yunho’s arm and he hastily rights himself. Yunho’s leg is bouncing up and down again, and he offers a tight smile as Jaejoong rubs the sleep out of his eyes.  
  
“Did you meet her?” he asks drowsily.  
  
“Not yet,” Yunho says, rapping his fingers anxiously against the seat rest. Suddenly he turns to Jaejoong and rolls up his sleeve. The arm band is missing.  
  
 _00Y-000D-00:02_  
  
Instantly, Jaejoong is wide awake.  
  
“What are you doing?” he hisses, reaching out to pull the cuff back down.  
  
“I think something’s wrong,” Yunho says, high and panicky as he bats Jaejoong’s hand away. “It’s been stuck like this for the last thirty minutes. I don’t…I don’t know…”  
  
Briefly, a vicious and selfish voice inside Jaejoong says to keep Yunho close to him for the rest of the plane ride. Let his time run out, that voice said. If his time runs out, you have a chance. He could still be yours.  
  
But Yunho is looking at him, pleading and distressed, and Jaejoong feels ashamed of himself.  
  
“Maybe you should get up and walk around,” Jaejoong says. “If she’s on the plane, you’re not going to meet her sitting next to all of us.”  
  
“Right,” Yunho says, nodding his head absently. “Of course.”  
  
He remains motionless, as do the numbers on his arm. The expression on his face is like nothing Jaejoong has ever seen, open and unguarded, and more than anything, it frightens him. Jaejoong wants to lean in, to close the distance between them once and for all, numbers be damned.  
  
But Yunho could never be as happy with him as he could be with his soul mate.  
  
“You shouldn’t waste any more time being around me, Yunho-yah,” he says quietly instead. “My time ran out a long time ago.”  
  
“But—“  
  
“You’ve been waiting for this, haven’t you?” Jaejoong continues, sitting back in his chair, tearing his eyes away from Yunho’s face. Even if his teeth is straight now, even if his hair grows longer and changes color, even if his voice deepens, Yunho is still Yunho, will always be Yunho, and he can’t make himself stop feeling for him no matter how hard he tries. He continues, softer. “Everyone waits for this moment, don’t let it go.”  
  
After what feels like an eternity, there’s a shift in the seat beside him, and then Yunho is gone.  
  
Fate is cruel, Jaejoong thought numbly, plugging his headphone into the plane jack and flipping absentmindedly through the music stations. To allow him to stay by his soul mates side, only to watch him fall in love with someone else—is dying with numbers still on that clock really any more tragic?  
  
There’s a rustle and suddenly, Yunho is back in his seat and Jaejoong’s heart leaps into his throat. Yunho’s sleeve is up again like he was just looking at it but then Jaejoong stops thinking because Yunho’s hands are cupping his face and Jaejoong’s mouth goes dry.  
  
“I don’t know if I care about that anymore,” Yunho whispers. “I thought I did, I really thought I could just go with the flow and nature would decide everything for me, but I’ve been thinking about all this and I don’t think I think that way anymore.”  
  
“W-what? What are you talking about?” Jaejoong swallows. “Why not?”  
  
“Because,” Yunho says. His eyes could tear holes with their intent and Jaejoong quivers under that gaze. He’s shaking. They’re both shaking. This scene is ridiculous and unnecessary. “I don’t…I don’t want anyone else but you.”  
  
“You can’t mean that,” Jaejoong says weakly.  
  
“Why not?” Yunho frowned. “Why do I have to search in someone else everything that I know I can find in you? Just because of some silly clock? When I found out you were out of time, I thought, why did I think you couldn’t be happy anymore? Why can’t you be happy still? Why can’t I be the one to make you happy?”  
  
“Yunho…”  
  
“Changmin told me I was the one who made your clock run out,” Yunho pressed on. “I never believed him until that day on the radio. And I…I could’ve said something then. But I was selfish and I still had time left on my clock and I didn’t want to give that up. That was my fault, and I’m sorry. I couldn’t even face it until two minutes left on my clock and I thought, I don’t want to be with anyone else. It’s you. It’s always been you.”  
  
“I’ve always thought Changmin was the smartest out of all of us,” Jaejoong says faintly. Yunho makes a noise of frustration and moves in to kiss him. Jaejoong musters the last of his resistance and pushes him back.  
  
“Wait,” Jaejoong says. His heart is pounding in his chest. “You want to be happy, don’t you?”  
  
“I would be happiest with you,” Yunho says quietly, decisively. “I have no doubt.”  
  
Jaejoong's eyes widen and flicker over to Yunho's uncovered arm. Both of them stop breathing as the numbers on Yunho’s arm  
  
 _00Y-000D-00:02_  
  
fades  
  
to  
  
 _00Y-000D-00:00_

 

[ the.end ]

 

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by [this prompt](http://illness-and-instruments.tumblr.com/post/3139087743/timer-2009-if-a-clock-could-count-down-to-the).


End file.
